A rant about LGBT bullying

Being gay isn’t a choice, a gift or a lifestyle. It’s part of who you are and while it does help make you unique, it shouldn’t set you apart from other people.
Yet gay people live very different lives compared to heterosexuals. Some of this is the result of choices made, some stem from differences forced upon them. Today, I’m going to address one of the latter.
It’s a subject that often gets overlooked, because there are ‘more important’ issues surrounding (homo)sexuality. I won’t dispute this notion. There are many things happening on a regular basis that certainly require people’s attention. However, the fact that this particular action happens daily adds weight to the problem. The problem I’m talking about is bullying.
True, bullying is quite common and happens as early as kindergarten. Even at that age, children are encouraged to ignore and rise above it. But if it happens every day and it seems you can’t make it stop, just how long can you ignore it?
I first started thinking about this a couple of months ago. I was taking a walk with a friend of mine, when we came across a straight couple who were holding hands. I involuntarily thought ‘I’ll never be able to do that’. Not because I lack someone to hold hands with, nor because we never walk anywhere, but because this couple was so care-free about it. They weren’t thinking about running into people who’d judge and behave violently towards them. They’d probably never even thought about it. They had no idea how lucky this makes them.
When I hold hands with my boyfriend, we will always be on our toes. Nine times out of ten, there will be derogatory comments from others. Complete strangers, who know nothing about us or our lives, will feel the need to express their disproval of something we couldn’t change if we wanted to.
Sometimes, though rarely, people will say something encouraging. But even then, why is there such a drive to tell us what they feel?
A couple of weeks ago, a friend and I were talking. She commended my boyfriend and me for our resolution to keep holding hands in public. She stated it shows strength of character. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but she had a point. Getting up every day, knowing there are going to be people mocking you, judging you and occasionally becoming aggressive just because you’re there is hard. It’s not so much an issue of occasionally being harassed, it’s the fact it happens every single day. If a mountain is hit with a drop of water on the same spot every day, it will eventually create a big hole in the rocks.
There are places where my boyfriend and I unlock hands in advance (although that hasn’t made a change as of yet), knowing things can easily turn very nasty if we don’t. Sometimes, you have to choose health over ideals.
Even events created for LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) people aren’t complete safe. At this year’s Amsterdam Gay Pride, some individual still thought it necessary to sling a cuss word at me. This shouldn’t have bothered me as much as it did (and does), but it’s yet another example of the notion of a thoroughly unwelcoming world. For me, it represents what an immensely long way we still have to go on the road towards acceptation.
That brings us back to the happy couple I witnessed months ago. To walk hand in hand, unafraid of people shouting abuse at you – that’s what I strive for. That’s why I still hold hands with my boyfriend in public, and will continue to do so until people realise it’s the most natural thing in the world. Well, that, and because I like holding hands.

Dolen í vad ô nín

These are the times when everything changes.
I’m not talking about the big worldwide changes here (which are obviously occurring as well), but rather the changes in my own life. It’s all on a much smaller scale, but monumentally important to me.
I’m twenty-four going on twenty-five. My time as a student is almost over. I’m in a relationship. It’s time to think about the future.
That’s where the problem lies – the future. I don’t yet know how it’s going to shape up, and I’m not sure how to feel about that. One the one hand, a little uncertainty is very welcome. I like going with the flow and seeing where I’ll end up. On the other hand, I’m almost twenty-five. I’m starting to feel like I need to settle down. Only, I don’t know what I want to settle into.
I’ve always wanted to move to the UK. My studies are almost over, handing me the perfect time to fulfil my dream. Of course, a dream is only a dream when it hasn’t been realised. Once you’ve achieved what you wanted, it’s time to find another dream.
That’s not the biggest problem though. The biggest problem is figuring out what I want to do with my life. I’ve been studying to become a social worker, but there are so many other things I’d like to do. Most of these aren’t profitable and won’t come to fruition anytime soon, but I want to make sure they can (when the time is right).
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and my grand conclusion is that I don’t know. I don’t know what I want to do, where I want to live or where my life is going. I’ll keep thinking about it but in the meantime, I’ll go with the flow. It hasn’t steered me horribly wrong yet and, if I can hold out long enough, my path might just become visible.